Sunday, August 19, 2012

Darn Creativity!

I hate my mind sometimes.  It thinks that it has a mind of it's own.  No, I'm not insane-well not doctor proven insane...  For the last few days I've been having this lady come into my head and start rambling on about her life.  Stuck in a tower.  And how she hates singing.  Yeah, weird, I know.  I've never had this happen to me. I mean that I've had moments when I am writing and I know that a character wants to say something, but never a random character come into my mind and force herself on me.

I'm aware that many authors have this issue when they're not writing, apparently it "gives them the need to write, they're not whole without it" stuff.  I've never had that.  I'll let you in on some things from my past about writing, be warned-it's dark;) (okay, not really, it's just a little off).

Here's my story:
I write.  Not well and for sure not known.  None of my family or friends know that I write anything, and I don't want them to.  I don't want to have to explain it to them and deal with that embarrassing ordeal because let's face it my family is not one of the most accepting group of people around.  (My neighbors are from Uganda, I mean they moved here about 10 years ago, my grandmother felt the need to inform my aunt and uncle (who have lived in Chicago and New York) that my neighbors are black, and not just regular black, but black black.  Oh and their dog who is black little Schnauzer barks at them... and they encourage it... yup, my familia!)  They all just think I have an overactive imagination, which I do but it would be more so if I didn't write, but they don't need to know that.

I started writing in 7th grade, where most all people start their writing: FanFiction.  My friend introduced me to it.  She wrote her's and I wrote mine, and we would 'edit' the stories together.  I was a spuratic updater, and now I realized I was writing for her and not for me.  I actually never finished the story.  But I'm a little scared to, to tell you the truth.  I really don't want her to see me four years later still updating that High School Musical story that is awful!  I created another story under another username and that's where I fell in love with writing.  I had always enjoyed reading stories so it was fun writing a story.  But that's pretty much where my writing went to.  There have been a few chapters that I had wrote out or perhaps a very detailed outline, but those have all been lost to history.  In school I never really applied myself to story writing because I hated, etch that- hate, English class.  I'm more of a science person, hence me taking mostly science classes this year and going to the zoo to get extra schooling.  But the teachers had always told me to try a little harder and it would be amazing.  My teacher once took one of my writings and put it in a contest, it got 2nd place, but I was so upset by her that I didn't even recognize what had happened.

I've been trying to get back into writing as of lately.  I'll start writing and then 'Opps, I have to volunteer today' or 'Goodness, I really need to clean up around here'.  I'm aware that everyone has these issues, and that's usually what seperates a never-will-be author and a true author.  I've always imagined myself as the former.

That's where my story ends.  Yup, that was great wasn't it?  No, this was not a bragging party or pity party (also I love the phrase pity party, although I don't know why...)

 I've been trying to ignore the lady because I don't need anymore distraction this year.  I don't think that I am going to get away from her.  Plus she keeps telling me, "I don't sing, I absolutely hate it.  I will hum, but no singing."  Grrr!  I think that I'll give into her a little, let's see where that gets me.  Oh wait, perhaps I will be a 'true' author...

Have any of you people have this happen?  What's your writing back story?

And since I don't have a picture up about this lady or my past, I shall indulge in another betta that I'm in love with...
If anyone wants to get me him, I'd be A-Okay with that!  You've got to admit that he is one attractive betta!

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